


Say, pal...

by nightshaaades



Category: Don't Starve (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Joke Fic, idk how to tag, please don't take this seriously lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-05 00:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14605005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshaaades/pseuds/nightshaaades
Summary: An alternate take on the trailer Forbidden Knowledge.





	Say, pal...

Smoke suffocated the room, leaving the small attic in a dark gray haze. Yet another failed experiment. Wilson sighed as he rubbed off the remnants of the beaker's concoction from his face. He had been trying for weeks, even months now to find some sort of scientific breakthrough, something to benefit others and to be proud it was made under his name. But each time ended in either a funky colored fluid that did nothing, or having to put out multiple fires in the small room. Sometimes both.

Wilson slumped down in his favorite chair for the thousandth time that day. That particular chair always helped him in trying to get his ideas going, to think of something he hasn't thought to try yet. But this time he just frowned down at the floor, tapping idly at the armrests. Every tick of his nails reverberated through the room, making the quiet sound almost painful.

Suddenly, his radio gave a terrific screech, effectively making him jump in his spot. The radio started to shudder a bit, still giving out its serenade of harsh static. Wilson, still visibly startled by the ordeal, slowly got up and started walking towards the radio, careful to not make any sound or sudden movement as if it was a sentient being. The noise warbled a bit as he got closer, changing in pitch and even revealing a few notes of a song he didn't recognize.

Wilson stretched out a trembling hand, still confused about how sudden this came about, and why it would produce this purgatoric shrieking. It hurt his ears to be anywhere near it, but curiosity spoke out against reason. He picked up the radio, briefly turning it around to look for any anomalies, but found it completely unharmed. Still deeply disturbed at the sudden burst of sound, he started to hear what sounded like a voice flickering in and out of the static. 

"welcome to mcdawnalds do you want a phucking beesechurger" the voice finally rang, a deep and almost amused sounding voice. The melodic cadence it had and almost purr to the voice's tone displayed an incredible dissonance compared to the slang and butchering it used. Wilson started to feel the shaking in his hands travel down his arms, traversing around until he was trembling uselessly in front of the radio. It wasn't until he felt an inhuman squeeze against his forearms and ankles that he'd been forcibly stopped from shaking by shadowy claws that could easily slice him into strips of flesh if they so wished.

"P-please, I just want to go back to my experiments," he whimpered, staring into the still blaring speaker that apparently held the mysterious voice. He felt more shadows slide up his sides, gripping onto his midsection to keep him rooted in place, leaving absolutely nothing to him aside from waiting to hear from the man on the other side of the radio waves. The object gave an odd piercing noise, but the inky extremities kept Wilson's hands from covering his ears, letting him resort to drop the radio on the ground, the sound of plastic crashing against wood drowned out by the harsh white noise.

 _ **"CHINKEN NUNGET"**_ the voice finally boomed, and as if that was a magic command, the shadow hands immediately tightened around Wilson's body and hoisted him off the ground. Below him was not the familiar wooden flooring, not the area he had paced to and fro in front of, but a swirling abyss of black and white. The hands were still digging into him, making him wheeze for air and try to wiggle out of their needle sharp claws, suspending him above the portal that could never be conceived by human hands. The radio still roared on, either through the other man's laughter or from the sharp static Wilson couldn't tell.

The shadows squeezed him one last time, forcing out a muted squeak before dumping him unceremoniously into the pit of madness below. He tried to scream, tried to catch his breath, but all his efforts were soon rendered useless as he slammed face first into the cold dirt of The Constant. His ears still rang with the cacophony, and his head was a similar droning pulse of his own heartbeat. Wilson lay still for a moment longer, still processing the whole event.

No experiment could compare to the bullshittery that just went on inside his own attic.

**Author's Note:**

> please tell me if there are any mistakes! i wrote this on my phone on the bus so there's bound to be some sort of slip up here and there.
> 
> also maxwell's first line of dialogue is meant to be all lowercase dw


End file.
